My Facebook status

Under the starry moonlit sky we sat,
Rekindled a passion that was almost flat.

I stare at you reminiscing the time we met,
Listening to you ratter-tat-tat,
And not forgetting the significance of my SAT,
My past, present, future tangled in a dense net,
Making me who I am, and that's what you get.

Then a rascal, a so called pet,
Came up with the yearn of a pat,
Soon turned into a cheeky 'rat'.

Thus ended our little chat.
Though a lil' too soon I bet.

But above all, at least I had my heart, and my mind set.




I love how my life has settled in a very subtle and comfortable way. Though I thought a lot of things would change, I stand corrected.
I value the insignificant moments which made us who we are today.
And life's too short for me to look back, regret and fret.

With this I extinguish the hatred I had.

"Words of widsom"

I sincerely wish to share 'my' words of wisdom to every one out there.
An obvious hint to one of my most fluently spoken 'language'




So listen up.










LIFE IS NOT fucking FAIR









You can do whatever you want in life, you just gotta have these words carved right onto your skull.
And not forgetting,
EVERYTHING YOU DO HAS ITS CONSEQUENCE.
Whatever way, it ain't smooth sailin'








Just be prepared for whatever shit people might give you.
People: Humans considered as a group or in indefinite numbers

By that I mean whoever you can think of that has successfully pissed you off and you feel like just giving them a knock out punch in the face.

Almost there...almost..

It was just like yesterday... In that moment in time.

When I counted the footsteps you took while you walked away..

I counted them as my vision blurred and my whole world collapsed. The pain was indescribable.. because I felt something different. I knew you were never ever gonna look back. That was the only thing I was certain of, the rest were all obscure.

It's funny how certain people, certain gestures can trigger a long buried memory in an isolated part of my thoughts, in the abyss of absolute insanity and heartbreak. I thought I could never feel again since they were too severely scarred, too brutally beaten and trampled upon. Because when you've got nothing to lose, what else can bring you lower?

I've read from many melodramatic love stories that one counts the days till the one they love returns.

gosh, no wonder I never fancied romance. 

It portrays a facade for false hope. 

I never had faith, neither have I had hope because some things are beyond the means of patching up.

Sometimes time just helps either one wash everything clean, leaving that part of them behind for good. 

But in the back of my mind I still wonder if people still catch glimpses of a certain person when they see, hear or feel something familiar.  Guess this is a question no one would be able to answer.

Add on.

If the present is so great and the future is glorious, why the hell do people linger in the past? Why do people still try to keep in touch with the past? 

To me, if one focuses too much on the past, we might lose something we currently have. So why take the risk?

But well, it's always up to ourselves to decide, to judge and act wisely according to the circumstances.

rawr =.=

Fate has a very funny way in conveying messages, or is it life?  ah screw that.

I've been quite vexed with life recently, not to say everything is going downhill.. but it's so annoying at times.

Let's see... how do I put

- my best friend HaYu has his period every once in a while and gives me the cold shoulder for two weeks after that.

- Jo sticks to me like glue and talks about stuff I have no interest in whatsoever. 

- My grades suck, I'm slacking in college.

- I have problems remembering facts as easy as I could before.

- Chuan sometimes pressures me.

- I hardly have any true friends, not like I need them anyway, but it's nice to know you've got friends for you.

- My future is a blur to me.

- I lack inspiration and motivation.

- I think I misplaced my iPod.

- I hate math so much now, have got nothing against Joey, but I still freaking hate math.

- I have lost passion in bio

- My chem lecturer doesn't give a shit.

- I don't have a life.

- I want my privacy back.

- I lack money to use at times and have to resort to using my ATM. wtf at this.

- I have got broke ass men trying to ask me out, another wtf. 

- I think I have gained weight.

- I have got problems sleeping.

- Some people just don't know how to back off when I'm already so freaking irritated. 

I cannot seem to put all these into feelings. I'm too lazy and I don't think it's humanly possible. I'm probably partially deranged by now. piece of shit.

I sometimes wonder wth I'm doing in college if this is what colleges offer.

Me feeling vexed is an understatement.

For the first time

have I ever felt so miserable...

It's just an exam, no big deal...right?
Surprisingly...
it means everything to me now.
Exams were never one of my concern, so why now?
I've come to a point in life where I am clear of what I want, the outcome of me doing something great and getting something great in return for my family and myself. The only confusion and doubt is that what the hell can I do which is so great? What the hell can I do since my dream is so far away at this point of time.
What the hell can I do...when I'm not good enough?

I've done too many stupid things, had too many unnecessary regrets, wasted too much time on things which will never contribute to what I want in life.
Regrets are for losers, I am a winner but I've lost too much.

Time is still on my side. My whole family supports me. They wipe my tears away, they help me back on my two crippled feet, crippled from the mistakes I've made.


But what I really feel deep down inside...

I know bitterly,

I am no one.
But a complete failure.
I'm sorry I've never made you guys proud,  




I rest my case.

突然

I'm probably writing this on impulse, but I suppose if I put my thoughts into words, I'd feel much better...
I just had biology lab in the morning from 8-10, and after snacking on my home made sushi, I made my way to the library. Due to lack of sleep since Thursday night, fatigue takes over, I dozed off.
I was woken up abruptly by a buzz on my phone. And then when I looked up.. I saw someone wearing this very familiar shirt.
One that reminded me immediately of you.
He was siting just two tables opposite, with one arm over his girlfriend.
This brought me way back in time, and somehow ( I was probably hallucinating ) I caught a distinct scent of you.
And it exuded overwhelmingly vibrant nostalgia..
It brought me back to January 2010.

While I was indulging in the good times, I caught myself staring into blank air again. Thinking about something which would never ever come back.
I snapped out of it. But still, I have a confession to make.


I moved on. I'm living the life right now.

But I can never forget the way you made me feel.

The way we fit perfectly in each others arms.

Continued

I know it has been months since I updated this blog. Forgive me for not keeping my promise =)
And I'm pretty sure practically every one has forgotten about 'the wallet incident' which I was ranting about in the previous post.

And to add on to this irritating fact that my wallet was not only stolen! It was stolen by 'a ghost'.
tsk. The stories people make up JUST TO MAKE ME BELIEVE that a freaking poltergeist or some demonic crap like that took my wallet.
oh damn! And it seems like I'm staying in a haunted hostel unit! Apparently a girl hung herself, or jumped down the building from my floor ( the 11th floor ).
Oh and how you claimed that your friends conveniently saw 'toyols' ( A type of Malay ghost ) using the lift.
*smacks head*   I really wonder why do I even know these people. JEEZUS o.o
Dear manager of the hostel, PLEASE I repeat PLEASE put me in the same unit as people who have the same intelligence level.
Yours sincerely,
A ghost-buster named Mildred Wong

No seriously -__- Ghosts? *rolls eyes*
These gestures do not mean I do not believe in the supernatural, the funny fact is I do. And unfortunately to the 'ghosts who stole my wallet', I'm well read about the ghastly ghouls, which means I know much more than you do, and whatever crap you're telling me is completely a lie, chains of lies as a matter of fact.
First of all, DO NOT LIE.   You'll need shit loads of lies to cover just ONE LIE. And eventually, every thing will unveil, unravel themselves. THE SAME GOES TO STEALING.

Anyhow, I'm not gonna waste my precious time thinking about this anymore. It doesn't make me any smarter nor does it make me any richer. So Imma just drop it. And for those who are curious, yes indeed, it was an 'inside job'.
Bravo to the one comment on blogger who got it right! You're brilliant lol
And the people who sent me messages through facebook, yeahh good good, at least you know how it goes =3

Thank you for participating in my lil rant and actually evaluating the whole situation and voice out your point of view.
I appreciate that =)
Have a great weekend!