10 November:
I went to school as usual, came home,had lunch,came online, went on facebook, had a one hour nap.
Everything went on as usual. Just like any other mundane Tuesdays......
The only thing I forgot about today... is that...
Today, is my father's birthday.
It struck me so hard when I received a message from him...
It said:
Moi,there is something that you haven't said to me.
I was still in a very unclear state and I was not aware that today is his birthday as I have lost track of dates since I don't have to do anything in school... I glanced on the date on my cell, and felt as if someone plunged a dagger into my heart... and to top it off.. it was raining... and every sound of thunder hurt me even more. It was as if I was wounded in a cold,wet world alone... hurting so badly even though I look fine on the outside.
But I put aside everything... and gathered some courage to write him this:
Happy Birthday papa!
You're not 44, you're eighteen with 26 years experience!
Many happy returns :D
Love ya.
As the text message shows, I was trying to be as cool and calm as possible. And I think I did a pretty good job...
He replied:
Just a greeting from you would do wonders for me... TQ for making me happy! Love you too.
Me: =D
Pa: If you won't forget your friend's b'day, pls remember mine cos I'm your buddy too!
*wipes tears while curling up under my blanket*
Me: Sorry >.<
Lost track of dates
Pa: I believe u r keeping the best 4 last!
Me: What? -.-
Pa: it's alright moi, I m the happiest man alive!
At that point... vivid memories came to life. It was more like flashes of memory.. about him saying how proud he is to have me as his daughter, about how he loves it when I go Shakespeare and talk like an adult, and about how he praises me when I give my views on life as if I've been through life more than him.. and how I stand up for myself.
Despite being so mean and disrespectful to him, he still loves me.
And says he's the happiest man alive..even though I forgot his birthday.
No one can ever imagine how I'm feeling right this moment..
Alone,looking horrible,hurt,cold... It's like a thousand feelings mixed together and you just can't find a suitable word just to describe it.
I haven't talked to my father face-to-face yet. He wasn't at home while I was suffering silently in my room [Thank goodness.]
He'll be back in less than half an hour. And I hope my mom got a cake for him just as I requested.
I wish upon a thousand shooting stars... that my dad will truly be happy...
As I could feel vibes of sadness through our text conversation....
I feel a little bit relieved after expressing my feelings through words...
I guess blogging really does help in a way..
*catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day...*
Happy Birthday,Pa!
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