Who really understands? Speechless.

I'm in the midst of my trials. Had my English paper today. Should take a break. But I decided to turn to my blog.

I have no idea what's going on lately.
And I don't know why it's still my fault for everything and you blame me for everything, every single thing possible.. even after this long.
难道,所有都是我的错?
What did I do...
I never get the chance to speak, and when I do, I'll just be lost for words.
I don't know what people think about me now, they can say whatever they like...
路遥知马力,日久见人心
Those who know me, will know and will be able to differentiate rumour from reality.


I found out I had to see a psychologist.
For I'm stereotyped as "crazy".

I normally wouldn't care if people called me that.  But did it have to be him?
I can't view anything of his anymore...
But I still came to know about it.
That got me absolutely speechless.
Feel me? No...no one does.

Disappointed...and hurt.
Did I have to go through all this...to see the real him?
Did I have to lose so many people, so many friends...in the progress?
I never wanted to, but it's all said and done.
I lost myself.

No one sees it, but I myself know best, it really hurts.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A friend wrote a note and condemned him.
haix,  another disappointment.
I apologised to him for what he had done even though I don't know what went on between them.
It's the only thing I could do, I wanted him to remove the note, but to no avail.

People should understand that no matter how bad or imperfect that someone is, we should not condemn him or her in public, it shows how immature you are.
I was even a part of the note... I never knew he noticed... I'm not close friends with that boy at all, but yet he stood up for me...
I thank you for noticing changes in me, but I would still like you to delete the note you wrote.
It's not right...


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

年光似鸟翩翩过,世事如棋局局新.

As time, unforgiving as ever creeps by....
I know my time...here is very limited..
the memories linger, vivid as ever.
reluctant to not remember,
but I see a new horizon.
not long from now...


sighs.